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Wordfilter Fun

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It says quite a lot of things. What they are, though, I am unsure.

Hey guys, its almost <Holiday Name Here> time again. Gosh, I sure love <Holiday Name Here>. <Holiday Name Here> is one of the happiest times of the year. On <Holiday Name Here>, everyone is giving each other <Holiday Name Here> presents and sharing in the <Holiday Name Here> joy!

Hear the turret, for it is knell. It summons thee to heaven, or to hell.
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