[SP] Unforgiving
My entry for the 2012 mapping contest. It was a long and hard battle against time, but i have finished it,and i am proud of myself. There were going to be voice lines, but the whole process of adding custom sounds was being finicky, and i was running out of time. So instead, i used a large amount of "Game_Text's", but i will re-post the map when the sounds are working.
--Credits--
Myself, Calvin Dvorsky mapped the entire level, came up with most of the test ideas, and well, it's my map
Lucas Dvorsky, my awesome bro, for moral support and recording the voice lines which aren't in this version
My mother, for lots of support and encouragement to continue in hard times
William Jagger, my best friend, for the idea to use Slow Motion, he also was going to be the the voice actor, but he left on vacation without notice...
...Oh yeah, did i mention that I'm 12 years old?
File Name: sp_a5_unforgiving.zip
File Size: 2.28 MiB
Click here to download Unforgiving
I can see that you've invested a lot of time in creating this map, and it might seem like I'm being harsh and over-critical. Please don't take offense - I'm just trying to show you what can be improved.
Aesthetics
The map was fairly plain, lacking detail. Everything felt bland, which is a shame, since there was plenty of room for decoration in the BTS areas. I didn't notice great lighting or horrible lighting, but there wasn't much contrast to speak of. For example, a warm light next to the slow motion timer would have drawn my attention, and I would have noticed it much more quickly.
The map could have used a more extensive lighting compile. In particular, the lack of -StaticPropLighting was noticeable and this cable cast a horrible shadow (perhaps a finer lightmap scale would be more appropriate there? I'm not completely sure). I noticed panels and robotic arms that weren't supported by anything.
The grating you used wasn't constructed in the usual style (and the brown mesh clashes with the clean style chamber). Normally these would be sunk into the floor, and/or the sides would be solid metal bars (squarebeam texture). I think most mappers would have used a grating with thinner mesh, too. There were missing indicators in the level (I don't think overlays work on a func_brush), and there were some unneccesarily dark parts of the map too.
Gameplay
There were some nice ideas here; it was clear you put a lot of effort into recreating Wheatley's style of dialogue. (By the way, if it was meant to be a Wheatley Chamber, it would be good to add a video screen of Wheatley.) With that said, the text and dialogue was almost too long. I was bored at the start, waiting for the puzzle to begin while I read the text provided. If you're going to make players wait and listen to the story, give them something to look at while they wait.
I think I've only seen
A tip for the future: if you create a timer pedestal button, for goodness' sake turn 'Fast Reset' on. This allows players to press the button once to see what it does, and then once again to get the maximum amount of time to use it. Without fast reset, players have to wait until the the effect stops, and then restart it. This is annoying, espesially
I didn't really know what I was doing when I entered the chamber - the map didn't have a clear goal other than 'jump over the giant pit'. I was surprised to discover orange gel by accident - I didn't know it was there! There should have been indication - perhaps a sign with an arrow pointing to the gel, or the paint dropper should have been visible behind glass. The later puzzles behind the scenes weren't really puzzles. "Run quickly past this obstacle while
Finally, I didn't get the conclusion to the story. Despite the tense, forboding music, all I did was
Mapping Details
* If you're going to take your mapping further, you'll need to study how visleafs work. In short, they're how the game engine decides to render the map, and they should ideally be neat and tidy. Sadly the visleafs in the main chamber weren't - the brushes on the supporting column should be func_detail.
Co-operative: Lightspeed Upstairs Downstairs
My feedback:
Do not read if you are judge!
Visually the map was pretty average and the puzzle itself could have been a little better. Getting up to high places was a bit fiddly and the cube in the funnel at the end that raised the panels took me a couple of goes to get because I wasn't quick enough to cross the panels.
The 'random slow mo' killed me a couple of times, but other than that it was quite fun dodging turrets being spammed at me and running through crushers.
What I found hilarious about this was Wheatley didn't have any power for his doors, but he was collecting turrets and catapulting them and constantly crushing crushers.
Personally I loved it! Make sure to keep working on it.
Good map, some things should be improved, but overall it's good.
Anyway I liked the idea with slow motion.
My mod for Portal 1: Portal:New Adventure