Quote from Lpfreaky90 on February 5, 2012, 8:09 pm

Hey,

It is pretty obvious that this map is your first one, you made quite a lot of rookie mistakes. Don't worry, my first map had a lot of the same errors

1) You don't have frames around your doors/funnels.
This really makes your map look a lot better.

2) It seems that you haven't heard of the clipping tool.
Using this tool properly allows you to have one wall with different textures. Now too often your white surfaces where sticking out 2px out of the wall, this really looks odd.

3) The lighting isn't really good.
Lighting is very tricky and it's hard to explain how to do it properly, but often this was just a bit too dark.

4) I really missed the elevators.
They are really easy to add to your map and reaching the final elevator gives people the idea that they're done. That they completed the map. If you end in a random room... that's odd.

5) I got stuck in the big row of turrets.
it looked nice and it was [spoiler]fun to let one turret trip over the rest[/spoiler] but getting stuck isn't fun. Basically I would get rid of big groups of turrets like these. Unless you remove them somehow after they are killed. (like giving the turrets outputs like OnRetire, !self, Dissolve.) this will make turrets that are shut down fizzle themselves.

All in all it is really obvious it's a first map, but making mistakes is the best way to learn .
So for now I'll rate this map 2/5: cute, you tried to map. If you want a higher rating for this map you should really fix at least some of the problems mentioned in my post, if not all

Hope that was somewhat useful
~Lp

Quote from Ayer99 on February 6, 2012, 12:22 am

lpfreaky90 wrote:

Hey,

It is pretty obvious that this map is your first one, you made quite a lot of rookie mistakes. Don't worry, my first map had a lot of the same errors

1) You don't have frames around your doors/funnels.
This really makes your map look a lot better.

2) It seems that you haven't heard of the clipping tool.
Using this tool properly allows you to have one wall with different textures. Now too often your white surfaces where sticking out 2px out of the wall, this really looks odd.

3) The lighting isn't really good.
Lighting is very tricky and it's hard to explain how to do it properly, but often this was just a bit too dark.

4) I really missed the elevators.
They are really easy to add to your map and reaching the final elevator gives people the idea that they're done. That they completed the map. If you end in a random room... that's odd.

5) I got stuck in the big row of turrets.
it looked nice and it was [spoiler]fun to let one turret trip over the rest[/spoiler] but getting stuck isn't fun. Basically I would get rid of big groups of turrets like these. Unless you remove them somehow after they are killed. (like giving the turrets outputs like OnRetire, !self, Dissolve.) this will make turrets that are shut down fizzle themselves.

All in all it is really obvious it's a first map, but making mistakes is the best way to learn .
So for now I'll rate this map 2/5: cute, you tried to map. If you want a higher rating for this map you should really fix at least some of the problems mentioned in my post, if not all

Hope that was somewhat useful
~Lp

Thank you for the tips, this is all very useful. I know that I have a VERY long way to go, but I am looking forward to the trek. I hope my time here can be spent playing great maps and making decent ones

Quote from MutatedTurret on February 6, 2012, 2:36 am

Another thing, avoid using vertex textures, they change brightness depending on surrounding light sources/player angling...and just lead to a bizarre effect.

Quote from Sejievan on February 6, 2012, 12:15 pm

Hey dude, please don't get me wrong, I really enjoyed playing your map , but, despite having noticed the same errors listed by lpfreaky90 the only thing that was really annoying for me, was that strange effect created by the vertex textures.([spoiler]above all this, that domino effect with turrets is really fun.[/spoiler]), something that helped me when I started mapping, was this site https://developer.valvesoftware.com/wik ... vel_Design there was everything for help you make maps for portal 2.

Thanks for mapping. =)

Quote from Zim808 on February 6, 2012, 12:20 pm

Hi! i know this is is your first map, but it does need some work. yo SHOULD take the advice from ipfreaky! he is a good mapper and he is also helping ME out! I think you should add more PRIDE to your map! the measurements are a little off. "It just makes the map look more REAL and a hell lot better! I took his advice after i did jammed and now i am working on ANOTHER map "PACK" and taking HIS advice!

-Zim808

mapper.

Quote from Lpfreaky90 on February 6, 2012, 6:17 pm

Zim808 wrote:

Hi! i know this is is your first map, but it does need some work. yo SHOULD take the advice from ipfreaky! he is a good mapper and he is also helping ME out! I think you should add more PRIDE to your map! the measurements are a little off. "It just makes the map look more REAL and a hell lot better! I took his advice after i did jammed and now i am working on ANOTHER map "PACK" and taking HIS advice!

-Zim808

mapper.

HER advice

Quote from Szieve on February 7, 2012, 2:04 am

hmmm I think I got to the end? Big empty room ? Is that the end? no way of telling..

Quote from Djinndrache on February 8, 2012, 5:30 am

There is no real ending and the map is kinda boring. Turrets are overused and... well, actually that's all the map. Boring.

My blindrun:

7QAuXtvQvf8
(Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QAuXtvQvf8)

Quote from KennKong on February 17, 2012, 6:44 pm

2/5 from me, removed from playlist. This should have been put in WIP first, to get suggestions to clean up the awful mess you made. Everyone's got to start somewhere; map and learn. It looks better than my first map; you know the one that isn't here because I still suck at Hammer so bad I won't release it.