ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!
So I just finished the game. Story, co-op, achievements, everything. So I decide to download some maps. Easy peasy, jumped up and down, used cheat codes, had some fun, whatever. But then I decided to try and make my own maps, downloaded the tools, opened it up, checked out the guide......
.....aaaaaaand WHAT...THE....FRIGG!?!!?
It explains how to do a couple things and shows a few images and that's it? I check the menus on the wiki page and everything is all CODE!!! I was expecting guides to every last damn thing. How to do this, how to do that, make this do that, make that move there, BUT IT'S LIKE TAKING A WHOLE CLASS IN ENGINEERING AT FRIGGEN HARVARD!!!!
I wanted simplicity, I wanted it to be like playing SIMS!!! Drag and drop, copy and paste, attach this to that with invisible strings, And everything might as well have been written in moonspeak. I don't even know half of what I am being told by this guide.
I don't know how the hell anyone managed to make maps with this program, you might as well have went to college to be programmers. Hell, you may as well have handed us the program you use to actually make the GAME!!!
I am no programmer. I know nothing. And my grasp on any of this is like trying to hold onto water with my bare hands. For God's sake, man. HELP!!!
Im assuming your refering to the VDC? In which case, there IS tutorials for everything. Read them. Learn. Hammer is really easy once you get going in it, you cant expect to be an expert in two minutes. Do the tutorials, the same as everyone else did. Dont start pointless topics. I mean, what did you want, a step by step guide to doing everything? Check the VDC. There are plenty there.
I think in terms of boolean variables. Generally, it makes things easier.
Hi Fracture,
I remember that first time I turned on Hammer I was confused, but there are lots of tutorial on the internet that can really help you.
I suggest you to check out this thread and this page.
There are also great tutorials on Youtube. These all tutorials really should help you start mapping. Maybe it is not as easy as you expected, but once you start, it will become much more easier.
My workshop
How to control other people
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Hello fellow!
I will put some tutorial links that you can learn Hammer with watching them.
Firstly you may watch on Hammer for BEGINNERS video by IanBoswell.It really helps.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5RzMiwzt50
Secondly , SolarChronus have basic tutorials on youtube, especially for Portal 2.
http://www.youtube.com/solarchronus/videos
Also MrJohnLanz have some videos as well for Portal 2.
http://www.youtube.com/user/MrJohnLanz/videos
You can Improve your detail skills too.
Rubrica made a thread about Details, elements and hints etc. ;
mapping-help/on-the-aesthetic-themes-in-portal-2-v0-9-1-t4257.html
After trying and iterating , you will see it is not that hard.
Hope that helps. 
TopHATTwaffle also has a large selection of video's
http://www.youtube.com/user/rocketrasca ... e=g-user-u
Interlopers has a "getting started" section that has downloadable video's to guide you through making a simple map.While its not portal 2 the process is the same
The desired "drag and drop" method you describe is coming very soon with the release of Portal2 DLC, which will bring a very user-friendly new editor.
"Such monstrous sucking-constructions aren't built within one afternoon"
Agreed @ the Valve page. Also, the page "your first level".
At first you will probably be overwhelmed by the amount of options and stuff you don't know what it is and feel like "I have no clue what I'm doing", but after following a tutorial like that for a while(with trial, error and google) and just practicing after that you will probably develop a sense of how everything is made.
Woah now, patience! Hammer is a powerful program, but with what it can do comes some complexity. I guarantee you will probably will not be proud of the very first thing you make, and it may be a while before you can make something you like. A map that takes 15 minutes to solve might take 2 weeks to make.
However, do not be discouraged! We're here to help, and many people here have posted excellent resources for learning. If you need any clarifications on how something works, don't be afraid to post a thread in here.
They did, actually! Hammer is the very same tool that Valve uses.
This is literally the most amount of help I have ever received from the most amount of people in any forum being as hospitable as a Grandma making cookies for strangers. Thank you all.
OMG WHEN!!?